I am confused


Erotica the truth is a blur

I confess that I like to write and read erotica. I submit my writings to the internet to get them to have reviews. I want to get better at writing and I can write easily with my erotic thoughts. I don't really think it is a problem since it is made up. It is not like I am looking at nude pictures and even though my writings are explicit the bible, from my point of view does not say anything against it. I want to know more about what is lust since my mom and I have two totally different points of view of what lust is.

 

I masturbate to my writings and masturbate in general. It not only helps me sleep but relieves stress. My girlfriend problems don’t bother me as much as they use to. I am able to express my sorrow in the stories that I write. The chaos that surrounds the characters has little to no effect on their ability to get to the next day.

 

I write about dragons and other creatures coming together to put their differences aside and fight the evil that creates war. I am writing a book with the main character is a dragon named Timothy not so different than the Timothy in the bible. I want to be able to create realism and to be able to make the book romantic. I don’t know how to do that without showing how love can bring a group together and Timothy and his girlfriend gets married and enjoys a great love life despite the chaos that takes place around them. I don’t know how far is too far in writing erotica and what God considers to be sinful in this activity.  

 

  Twilight saga is a good example; Edward and Isabella are married when they have sex so what would be wrong in reading or writing erotica? My friends at church have read the whole book series and loved it.

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Male Lust & the Objectification of Women Book

Could someone recommend a good book on male lust and its objectification of women?

I have heard a male person in my life say, "I have nothing against lust. I think lust is wonderful." He sees that, since conservative Christians find it wrong, then it must surely be right and liberating.

I need a book that explains that, while for men it may seem liberating, feeding male lust contributes to a much larger paradigm of oppression.

Links Concerning Pornography

I'm searching for sites dealing with the subject of pornography, particularly anti-porn (but either really, since it's good to read up on both "sides"). I'm trying to compile a more comprehensive list for this community, since it's currently scarce.

Please share the best you've found! It will be a good reference for all of us.

Thanks!   :)

The Culture of Pornography & Committment Phobia

Someone suggested I read this article, so I have provided some excerpts which I thought we might discuss. You're free to read the rest of the article, which is based in Catholicism. I hope that as a community (no doubt based in a variety of faiths and worldviews) that we are free to discuss religious (and non-religious) based texts concerning pornography...to examine this subject, pornography, without becoming divisive over gradations of faith. I feel that any resource concerning pornography will provide insight into the subject and foster a more well-rounded perspective.

http://www.catholic.org/featured/headline.php?ID=1616

Excerpts:

So the man who begins a fantasy sexual life in his early adolescence, as so many men of today have, with the use of soft-core pornography, such as Playboy magazines, gets a habit deeply ingrained in his psyche linking a false idea of female perfection with an ideal fantasy harem. None of the members of his fantasy harem has any qualms about his fantasizing about another woman, and even seem to approve, because that is all the woman’s eyes in those photographs ever communicates. She is all approving, all understanding, and lovingly naked—for him. His stable of concubines is a big happy family who exist all and just for him. If one has rounder breasts, or another a cuter face, or another a firmer derriere no one minds! No one gets hurt or jealous. Hence he is free to always search for that more perfect woman—each month. But always has the old ones to fall back on and they never mind.

Now, translate this mindset, firmly formed, and deeply linked to this man’s patterns of needs into the real world of real women and real love affairs. At first he is all hearts and flowers, candy, cards, presents, dinner and dancing, until she starts to like it and believes he really cares for her—and he does. But can he commit to just one? To her alone? Or is he always scanning the horizon for something (as opposed to someone) “better”? Is he capable of truly loving a woman or merely addicted to adolescent romantic fantasy linked to sexual gratification—which is now unquenchable by one woman?

He will weep with sincere frustration that she can’t tolerate his desire for more and others. He is accustomed to the unquestioning sweetness and acceptance of his paper harem, and genuinely can’t understand himself, and feels guilt over the sense that he is using this real live woman, unconscious though it may be, in the same way. She’s fed up, he’s in terror, facing more rejection, shame, and terrible loneliness, doesn’t know what happened, and can’t help himself.

We are whole beings, and our sexuality cannot be split off from the rest of our instincts for permanence, love, and family, for the sake of temporary pleasure without tragic results—anymore than the procreative aspect can be split off from the unitive aspect of our sexuality without damaging that very union. A fragmented self cannot commit, much less give.

just a reminder

Hello everyone--

This is just a little "FYI" that exists in the community info, but I thought I'd reiterate here:

If you want your posts to stay inside the community (i.e. only members can read them), make sure you mark them as "friends only." If you don't mind who reads them, that's fine also.

For those of you who lurk in the community...  ;)  ...and have added it to your community friends list but haven't joined, remember that you may be missing out on being able to read "friends only" posts or participating in the conversation. So come on inside! I'm sure you have great thoughts to share on this subject and we would love to hear from you.

That is all. Carry on.

:)

The Beauty Myth

It's likely this article has already made the rounds, but I've not yet seen it in an lj community. The more conservative readers might disagree with certain points. Overall, it's definitely worth reading.

http://www.wesleyan.edu/synthesis/culture-cubed/cashman/was_research.html

I have to say, I'm very impressed by the grace and insight within this group, it's members, and it's moderators. I feel safe here. Thank you for creating this place.